Disappointed.

went to her blog. FINALLY. but the steps i find my way in wasn't difficult but disheartening. what am i to her? i treat her as my best friend. i know she don't wanna tell me so i wait. wait for her to be ready and let me know. but, why do i always have to be among the last to find out?

or rather, who is more close to her? he or me? i'm no longer being bitchy to her. i sensed something not right but i didn't ask. i feel sad for the fact that things have to turn out that way. i want to lend her my shoulder but she don't wanna let me know. or rather, she wants the things to happen before pouring out to me.

what am i to everyone? a bitch? a slut? an extra? i'm not acting in a serials as a part timer. i'm a human! i'm so sad and disappointed. how am i going to face her? when will she realise that she can rely on me anything?

why does she like to let people know once everything was done and calmed? why must she cry alone?

FUCK! i hate this friendship thingy. it's driving me nuts. and guess what? i changed my blog add because of her. i'm not gonna let anyone know least, let them in. FUCK~ i'm so god damn frustrated. and i'm controlling my damn idiotic tears. URG!

do you know that i've found out about it and i'm DAMN DAMN DAMN sad? you let him know your blog first? why the FUCK?!?
i wait and this is what i get. FUCK!