I have no idea why either; I just feel really empty deep down under. Pretty much very empty.
I've slapped myself back to reality. Really slapped myself. Tried letting go and acted cool. Ironically; the minute I freed things, I regret doing so the next.
I've hoped so much; for things to work out. I've wished things would last. I've dreamed of the future, us laughing at each other; most of the time at me - for my height. I've imagined life after, spending time and money like water flowing in the ocean. But all in all, these have liquefied; no longer as solid as the past. Or maybe, I was just being greedy. Maybe I was sleeping too much on cloud nine; I should have stood on the solid ground way back and refrain myself from daydreaming.
I wasn't missing much of the past until I stumbled onto one of the many entries. The good old times we have had.
Why? Why did everything have to turn ugly? Why?
I guess, they were all just a pipe dream.
I realize you were ready for all these long ago... You never believed in it anyway. But still, you knew things would turn ugly, somehow. I expected things to twist too; but not so fast. So quickly things changed, I couldn't even find time &space to breathe before I was being hurried to the next checkpoint. Next checkpoint, ALREADY?! Why?
People change. Environment change. Life change. Habits change. Relationships change. Friendship change. Rules and regulations change. Attitude change. Currency change. Economic change. Everything changes; that's the only inevitably IN thing huh?
So, what doesn't? :(
The only constant thing in life is Change. Why?
Why are we made who we are?
Why?
It's a love.hate thing.
For both. Both of you.
You mattered to me, and you still do. But... things have taken a turn and I guess we have to adapt to the change. Or rather, I've to live through this and move on. Really move on...
& Why do things have to be this way? Why?
Just when I thought things could last,
Why? Why can't things turn out the way we want them to? Why?
These are inevitable, I know. But,...
the ache, just hurt so much.
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