Please, Let Me Start Over.

Great. I can't get to sleep right now. And thanks, for the upsetting tummy making things worse. So much worse. Was trying my best to hit the darn sack but damn! I just can't get some things off my mind.

After the long conversation we had, I think I'm affected. NO. I AM affected, and maybe, I'm greatly affected by it. It got me thinking; What kind of a friend am I?!
I'm losing the drive to find out things from friends, I'm losing the drive to seek for forgiveness when needed, I'm losing the drive to clarify certain things, I'm losing the drive... to do so many.
Yes, I suck. I'm like... no... The duration seem to no longer matter because it seems that I no longer understand you guys.

No, maybe, I never did understand and know you people from the start.
(SO now, what right DID I have to point fingers at him?!)

Though it's only been a year, I feel somewhat defeated by the depth of her understanding. The understanding of your characteristics. I have no idea what to feel about this. But yes, I know I'm upset and embarrassed. I am VERY upset and felt really embarrassed.
This is not a one/two days thing.

Seriously, what do I know? Maybe near nothing! It's always been the surface that I know, that I understand...

I am losing so much faith in things. I'm losing so much faith in people. I'm losing all faith I have in myself.

Please, let me start over.
I wanna start everything on a fresh new sheet of paper.
I don't wanna feel so crappy.

Please, seriously, let me start all over again. Afresh.



PS: If only life allows you to press "F5" to refresh. Just like a keyboard.