Simple reason, it's because I don't know how and I don't have the heart to actually tell you in MSN or face to face. :S
Xuan ah. I know it HAS been and WILL STILL CONTINUE to be freaking tough for you to let him go.
A 4 years relationship is darn long. I may not have experienced being in a relationship but I've once loved as hard as you do/did and trust me, I do understand how frigging hurtful everything is.
I do understand how you actually feel.
If you haven't know, I took about 2 freaking years to entirely get over him. But after that 2 freaking years (now 3 years), I still can't forget every single things we've done together, every single place we've been/passed by together, every single time and conversation I have had with him.
& I guess, you have to be prepared for all this crap.
I hate it when I walk pass the route I've walked with him, I hate the spots in my house where I've sat/stood/laid around to talk to him and all the things he has said to me; I still cannot forget. I can still remember frigging clearly all these memories - I really just wanna put behind me. Even typing this here is making me feel the prick.
Honestly, I do still cry about these kindda stuffs now.
Every single time I think about it; inevitably, I'll just tear uncontrollably.
I am not trying to put our situation on par or whatsoever; but I just wanna let you know that I'm totally aware of what you're going through. How it sometimes is tough to wanna talk to someone badly but there's no one. Frankly speaking, no one knows I still think about it/him. (So, please be honoured to be the only one. Lol.)
When I tear, I cry silently in the middle of the night right beside my sister. And to not make it known, I'll just weep like some idiot trying my best to make no sound. Crying with no sound is like running on nails without shoes; freaking painful.
Wait, this is not the main point;
Other than wanting you to know that I understand how you feel, I wanna let you know what I think about this-
It's been tough and this will continue. But I know you'll brave it through. You
Patience and time MAY get him back to you; but you should understand that you deserve BETTER. "What is yours will eventually return to you." But, there's no point waiting and waiting for someone who has made it clear he has moved on and started anew. When you've missed a train, you've missed it; it won't come back. You'll just have to wait for the next train. The truth hurts bad. But we all have to accept them, swallow them down hard (even unwillingly) and get on with life.
Time don't wait for us to change,
Time don't wait for us to move on,
Time don't wait for us to do something or whatsoever.
So, we shouldn't let time just pass by. We should take the chance to make the best out of time/things. It's going to be difficult but you and I know you can definitely make it; It's just a matter of time, my dear.
You have a lot of people around you who cares and love you. We'll face it with you. We'll take your hand and walk with you.
It's not going to be easy trusting the next guy; but time will heal. Unless you wanna turn lesbian. ;x LOL!
But somehow, look at the bright side of this pain. At least, you've more time with your friends; and we're going out more and stuff. ^^
And regarding your current issue, MAN; I know how you feel too! Lol. Having Stephanie in my life is as good as having no one. She is seldom in class and is always out to find her other friends. If you feel sucky being stuck with 3 guys, try experience being with 8. Zzz And with 8 who always go out and skip lectures and all. :O
You are so lucky to have me, ST and MS okay! Lol.
I think that's all I wanna say. If you've read all the way here; I'll be freaking proud and happy la.
Didn't know I could blabber so much. ;x
Cheers!
And take care.
Jasmine.
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