All the great times, our past together, were they all just a dream? They suddenly feel so vague. So... fake yet real at the same time; just like a pretty dream.
But one thing for sure, I remember being happy, glad and content. Happy laughing away most of our times together, glad that I have you guys by my side and content with all. Yet now, it seems that we were just friends for-convenience. How pathetic?
I have no idea why and how could you have made that statement. That selfish and irresponsible statement.
Well, if it was to make me stay awake for the night; Congratulations!!! You did it. I couldn't rest well, not at all.
Finally, I've gotten to see what you'd always mean about yourself. Feeling awful and yet pushing blames to others. Like I said, I did not point a gun at you to make you think that your life is about us. That was all your wishful thinking, how can you put the blame on us?!
Yeah, you were dumb. Do you think I felt good saying that?!
I did thought we could have each other for a long time too... BELIEVE THAT OR NOT. I've had this discussion with one of you. But I guess he was right about how everything tend to change and that... nothing last forever. We were sleeping too much on cloud nine. Too much that we had thought things could last forever. That was a freaking silly and childish notion.
(I've learnt that.)
You are not the only victim of this whole situation. So please, please please, STOP ACTING LIKE YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE SUFFERING HERE!!!
I still can't believe that you made that statement. How could you assume that we just turned our backs and forgot about the past? How could you?! I admit; maybe we really are sitting ducks. But honestly, I don't see why should I and what I can do to savage this.
Reason being; I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOU.
I am sick and tired of all your freaking assumptions.
I am sick and tired of all your problems.
I am sick and tired of all your insecurities.
I am sick and tired of all your fears.
I am sick and tired of all the repetitions I have to make to make you feel better.
I am sick and tired of all the reassurance.
I am sick and tired of trying my best to listen to all the things I've heard from you before.
I am sick and tired of putting up a perky front to save all possible explanations of what I really feel.
I am sick and tired of facing you.
I am sick and tired of YOU.
Do you see that?! ARG!
Every time we chat, I try to be calm and yet YOU LOVE TO BRING THIS MATTER UP. And, I'll feel my blood boil with all your nonsense. All your suffering and assumptions of us living off better without you. How can I face you if I can't even talk to you properly?! Why can't you just let bygones be bygones and start everything fresh?
The way you put things, totally ruin my mood. I'm not the root to the problem dude! It makes two to tango, so please don't push all the blame on me, us. You weren't really a fantastic friend to start off with. All your stupid fears, your silly insecurities and your freaking assumptions. YOU made things worse alright?!
Any idea how I felt when I faced you initially? I wanted to tear, you know? NO!
Any idea how horrible I felt when I realise I couldn't face you? How terrible and bastard-y I felt?!
No. You knew nothing. NOTHING AT ALL.
All you know is your assumptions; Assuming how fast I could easily turn my back against the past and move on. Laughing at how my life is so much better without you in the picture at all. Freaking hell. STUPID ASSUMPTIONS.
You are no god to make assumptions. &Guess what? All your assumptions are worse than just BULLSHIT!
"den im lost, great. u ppl screwed ard wif me. made me think my whole life was abt u guys. den u just dissapear w/o an explaination. well thank you for showing me that thers more to life den just u guys. i was so dumb."
I hope you'll never regret saying that; and please, don't start apologising when you realise you've made a big mistake YET AGAIN.
Like I've brought my point, I no longer see a point:
I no longer wanna explain to you.
I no longer wanna talk to you, even.
I no longer have the urge to savage this, at all!
I no longer wanna feel a thing about this. These all hurts. But you know nothing.
I no longer wanna tear when I think about this.
I no longer wanna think about these.
I no longer wanna think about the past.
Guess what? For all that you've done and said; I feel pain and upset whenever I see you. Or the pictures we had took. The great times suddenly became sour because of you.
Please, stop all these. You are such a bastard.
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