Saturday, September 19, 2015


It's so deep into the night now, but I'm wide awake.... Thinking....

Why am I procrastinating so much for my own future? Spending most of my spare time watching senseless dramas when I could be doing something more beneficial?

Is it pure laziness? Am i feeling too comfortable? I cannot justify why I am allowing myself to rot my days away, when I still have so much more to do and to achieve.

Clueless. I am still clueless about what I want to do next. Why? Why is it so difficult to make a decision? Why isn't it all just set out for us to follow blindly? Why are we all facing the same dilemma? Why? Why? Why?

I'm exhausted.

Work has been fine. All fine. Getting better at things (I have to improve on my ability to understand people though), and having a good relationship with people at work. Still learning, but less struggling.

When I say 'all is fine', it doesn't mean I am satisfied to stay for long. It's sickening when people feel obliged to advise me to leave and not get too comfortable.

'Too comfortable'. Whuuuuut?

I am just less negative, and not constantly searching out far for something better. The grass is the greenest where you water it. Wherever you are, work hard and do your best. Change is the only constant, and your grass patch will change eventually. I always believe there is no point harping on the bads when you can make your life less miserable thinking about the goods. There's always two sides to a coin.

Well, I AM comfortable. This comfort has made work slightly more bearable and actually a little enjoyable. But this does not mean I will stay put. I am only 24. At this time and age, who would start and end with one just job?! Life needs more experiences and colors. Besides, I see no long term plans set out for me in my current place. :/

I know I have to leave. I have a plan. Approximately 6 months more to go. It's not exactly a short period, but it's definitely not long enough to have me laze around so often... I just need to make myself think less of how to play in this life, and focus on what I want to do.

At the end of this life, where do I see myself, and what do I want to achieve and do?

Now first, let me update my resume.

ps: Dramas are entertaining, and sometimes inspirational... Like how this drama I've just watched, gave me all these thoughts about my future. :/

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