It's shockingly interesting how my thoughts and my feelings are such contrary. I thought I wasn't bothered but, I felt weird and uncomfortable. I even gave myself a great surprise when I felt tears rolling down my face.
For the first time. :/
I don't remember it being this hard.
Or maybe, it was.
I find it amusing how I had actually believed such jokes. I should have learnt from my mistake the first time when things were extremely embarrassing and heartbreaking but no, I had to fall twice.
No idea why I keep going in circles. Telling myself how determined I am and should be but the next moment, I'm all gone again. Maybe it's the people up there playing a Sims prank on me. Making me wanna do something but cancelling out the action just because it's fun to see people become stuck. Lol.
I've been running around so much, I no longer know what' I'm thinking or feeling anymore. First minute, I want this but the next second, I want a whole lot of different thing.
It's so tough trying to figure things out.
The bad thing is, no matter how busy I am, I don't stop thinking.
While I work, I think about it.
While I talk. Eat. Drink. Text. Call. Stone. Read. Listen. Even while thinking about things, I'll still have a thought full of it at the same time. And it seems to have worsen.
Headache. Headache. Headache.