Monday, April 28, 2008

Overwhelming Emotions.

Currently in school waiting for class to start. :)

I started off my day feeling blue and silly. However, I'm alright now! :):):)
All THANKS to Darius! :)
He cheered me up and even treated me to lunch! ^^

Of course, not forgetting those who cared; Gary, Stephanie, Terrence, Josher and Clara! :)

I'm really sorry to have freaked you guys out, my classmates, initially. THANKS FOR THE CONCERNS

Just some thoughts I've had last night:

I have been having a few trains of thoughts lately;
resulting in uncontrolled tearing.
I've got no idea why but i guess it's what I've been going through.
Stress. Friends, home affairs, school work, things and people that matters to me.

It's so easy to put up a strong front each day;
but it hurts every night.
I put in my utmost effort to sleep off thing things i feel.

You people don't get it because you're not me. You think my matters ain't important because you're not affected in any way and because you think I'm silly. You do and say the things because you think it won't matter; In fact, they hurts sometimes. You assume because that would save you trouble trying to coax me, comfort me, text me, talk to me or even to understand what's going on. Most of them are ignored because you think it's stupid and they're ain't important. You patronize me saying things like you've forgotten or didn't notice/see because you wanted me off your back. However, you think I should listen, care and understand the things you're experiencing because you know you mean something to me. But when opinions are given, you think i'm not making sense. So, what exactly am I to you?!
Sometimes, I really do wonder: Do I have friends for convenience or sincere ones that truly care.
Don't listen because you want to know; LISTEN because you care.

PS:It's because you're not me, and you don't know me.
Don't give me promises you can't keep; They just hurt even more.

-continued at home; 2116hrs.-

YO! hahaha. Wasn't able to finish this post because our tutor came in and class started! :)
I cried again. :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:( On my way home. Arg! Guess I shouldn't be alone for the time being; with an unstable emotion. BUT! I know I'll get over this soon.
Darius's right, I GUESS, maybe I'm too attached to her. I'm too soft hearted too. Zzz
Damn irritating when these emotions get too overwhelming and takes over my rational. Zzz

Jie Jie Wati's sent to her agent today; & I guess she's going back to Indonesia. There's nothing she has done that we had to sent her back; wanting to go back is what she wants.
Though it has only been 4 months. I feel more than just heartbroken when she left.
The pain and the sadness I saw in her eyes. The sorries she kept repeating. The hugs and kisses she gave before we parted. The tears she and I shed together. The things she'd said. The promise I've made to bring her over to Sentosa; broken forever. One promise I can never keep. The glow in her face when I gave her the bracelet. The smile hung on her face everyday even when she's scolded. The experience of her childhood and teenage days. The things she does for me each morning before I leave for home; checking on my attire and making sure everything's just right. The silly things she does. & The laughter of hers. The difficult time I have had trying to communicate with her initially. The times I have had trying to understand what she's talking about.
I'll miss her; & do what she hope I would: Remember her.
I may sound silly but it's because you're not me. :)

PS: Smile! :D I'll be alright!


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