I think I'm accustomed to thinking about my feelings and just thinking them out of my mind~ Finding it almost pointless to talk to people about certain things or share my genuine feelings about situations. I no longer think speaking my mind is worthy anymore. Especially since people won't get it and things won't change anyway. What's the point of ranting and making people annoyed, right?
I'm just really glad I still have someone I can turn to when all these pain reaches my brim. Someone who's there to just listen and not crack dumb jokes or judge when I least need people to. You have no freaking idea how goddamn difficult it is to keep my emotions to myself. No freaking idea how goddamn tough it is to put on a pokerface and deceive myself that "it's okay."
ps: Thankyou. ♥
Just put yourself into my shoes and think about it.
Think about how it'll make me feel.
Think about how it'll make me reflect on my worth.
I need to thank that episode for making me cry and making me realize how much all these things are actually hurting me.
That night, I had a good long cry.