Mistakes

Today is a day of wrongs. Within an hour, I lost my cool and blabbered things I shouldn't have said, things I won't have said other days. Am I too comfortable? Is that a good thing or bad?

Losing my cool: I was sullen knowing she's back. 

Was the forgiveness card directed to forgive her for the person she is or to forgive myself for these emotions I have? I thought I would be fine… But I guess losing my emotional buffer and support really affects me and my behaviour with her. 

Just the first day and I am on the edge of being an asshole. I really can't help it; Just listening to her makes me feel bored and almost sick in the stomach. :( 

Why has it come to this…...

Blabbers: It is like a random verbal vomit. Why the f did I say that!? It was…… unnecessary and made things slightly awkward. There are things people do not need to know.

I lost control today and I hate it. No excuse or reason would cover that up.