Drama Fanatic...?

While finishing up 'My Wife's Having An Affair This Week' with heavy waterworks (watch it here if you're keen?), I realized one thing...............

I'm kindda.. pathetic?

I felt a lot of emotions while watching the story unfold. Sigh... The drama was good albeit too slow paced for my liking (tbh, I fast forward 70% of the time), but the characters and emotions were extremely relatable..

Or is it....?

Nearing the end of the second last episode, I was left sobbing really hard and feeling extremely... Sad.

Then the sudden thought hit me.

Maybe, I thought, this was the only way for me to feel. And that's why I keep going back for more dramas.

Sounds weird, doesn't it? But I realize the one reason why I enjoy watching all these Korean dramas is because they make me feel emotions that I don't really experience in real life. Yet.

Seriously, after watching so many dramas, you'll realize every one of them are more or less the same. Similar story-line, because honestly, there's only so many ideas that would sell... Even so, I still watch them. Though, mostly dependent on the actors/actresses. I still watch quite a number of them. Korea has so many dramas showing every week! There was this one time I was watching 9 dramas (completed and current shows) in one go! Insane, right?

People would think I'm a drama fanatic.... But, am I really?

I don't feel eager to watch them that I have to rush home or watch them on-the-go. I am not a fan of typical sad Korean shows, but sometimes, I still watch them... Not only because I'm bored too...

You'll think that I have nothing better to do. It's only half true. Lol. If I were busy, I just don't watch them. I don't feel like it's a loss.... So, am I really a drama fanatic?

&This is why I think I'm kindda pathetic.

I realize tonight, this senseless entertainment is one form of outlet for me.

They give me these feels...

I feel all the fluttering feelings when romance begins in stories.
I feel all the pain and sadness when stories become depressing.
I feel all the happiness and joy when good things happen.

It's all so unreal, but in that hour, I get these feelings bubbling up inside me. Even if it's just for a few minutes. I really feel the emotions whenever something happens. Good and bad.

Maybe it's because life has become too mundane? I find myself going by the days just as they are.. I do what I have to do, at work and at home. There's really nothing much happening in my life, so there are no waves in my emotions anymore.

I feel............ numbed.

It's depressing.

And now my eyes hurt from crying too much. My face is feeling a little tight with the tear stains too.

Sometimes when I start sobbing while watching a drama, I'll pull myself out of it and ask myself what's wrong with me... There are times when the drama isn't even at its peak - it could ignite just a tear or two, but I'll end up with real waterworks instead. It makes me wonder if there's something wrong with my life. If deep down, there's something bothering me so much that I want to cry so bad.

But I guess, it's just emptiness that I feel. Numbed. Empty.

These dramas make me feel. The one other reason why I watch them.

Life of a growing adult... It sucks.