the cruelty of reality..

perhaps, i didn't expect it to happen to anyone around me..

plain morning.. did nothing special other than slack at home..
well, my mother's god-daughter, my god-sister and her husband with her daughter came over to our house at 1605+. i'm an aunt!! lols. anyway, my god-niece is cute. real cute. she's two this year.. hahs.

anyway, i observed something. how i wish i'm a child once again. hais. seeing my niece playing so happily really make me envy her lots.. but looking at her makes me think at her perspective. there's a whole lot of adventure that awaits her. but at least, she can still enjoy all the attention she has now.

she also reminded me of my own childish childhood days. i use to play like nobody's business and create a havoc in my room, the toilet while bathing with my sister. i didn't even have stress about studies or duties or even CCA. however, now at this age with goals, roles and different type of perspective it's so different. when we were young, we can choose to run away from problems and let adults sit or sleep on them. but now? we can procastinate from problems but never be able to run away from them. hais.

also heard something chronic today. my mother's closest friend, also like my second mother, will be retrenched one year later. this means she will have no job next september. but guess what? she's not anxious about it because she thinks that the 20,000 she's going to receive will be enough for all her life.

one thing i really pity her is the attitude of her children. i bet they know nothing about it. i'm very scared that she will be left alone despite raising two kids. she gave them almost everything she can afford. pampered them and spoilt them. especially her daughter. to be frank, i think she's a spoilt brat. have you encounter or heard about a friend who brings her guy to gym with her mother? i mean like; why can't she just spend some valuable time alone with her mother? is it so difficult to face the person who feeds you? really have nothing to say when i heard about it. well, he son is not worse but not much better than her daughter. he doens't go out often and always pester to go home when in fact they had just step out their house for one hour maybe? i'm really anxious for her. can't imagine what will happen to her after next september.

isn't reality cruel? hmms. maybe i didn't know things would really happen at this time bahs.

hais. mum's not gonna continue her contract with jie jie yani next march. some points to be happy but some not. one thing good is that there will be one lesser mouth to feed, one lesser person to nag and one more lesser person to irritate you. on the other hand, we have to do household chores.. hmms. i hate doing them. i just cannot stand cleaning the house. those who have been to my house and seen my tables' state might understand.

well, haven't been feeling very well lately. having to tolerate the pain coming in and out really can kill. gosh. how i wish i'm still a child who can still continue whinning and crying like a baby. hahas. but everyone know it's impossible. -.-

okay. enough procrastinating. i've waste almost the whole afternoon not doing my revision nor assignments. finally found "my three husbands" (it's a book title). lols.

before i end; i'm so anxious for tomrrows' performance. i really really hope that everything will go on smoothly as planned. (= hehs. it's been such a long time since we last performed as a whole orchestra what's more, this time our string section looks big enough (looks..).. hahs.

gotta go. TATA``