Smiling, But Not Really.

I am feeling so much right now and need an outlet, but I can't seem to fill this space with words...... 

My brain is cramping. My mind is going blank.

Feel like crying.
Feeling nausea.
Feeling my left shoulder swell.
Feeling the emotions all the way to my gut.
Feeling it bubble from inside.
I feel like crying right now.

Unintentionally escalated my current workload when I was trying to give headsup about the number of meeting minutes to expect for a potential new hire... 

If this goes up...... adding the minor things the client is/has been escalating.... Deep down, I'm afraid I'll come off incompetent. Not capable to take on work... Will people finally see my true colors? That I am not all that good.... at all?

Am I taking on too much?

Well, my laptop is running so many things that it freezes everytime I try to do something.

When I try to delete a word from my text.
When I try to switch between windows.
When I try to close a window.
When I try to switch between conversations.

It's just a few seconds, but it's such a waste of time to wait for a reaction, but I guess this is my laptop telling me to stop...

Yes, I am taking on too much.

For a long time, I am unsure what I want or what I don't want.

Now... It's clear.
I no longer want to run on the ground. I want to step up and oversee the work being done.

Please GYM, give me strength to get over this.
Please give me strength to power through today. This week.

I need sleep.