I suddenly don't see the meaning to things that I used to really enjoy in the past; Lunar New Year and my birthday.
Just these two for now. Not sure if there are going to be more things that I no longer feel excited about?? But to not be excited about Lunar New Year and my birthday makes me wonder what the hell is wrong with me...........
Like... It's LUNAR NEW YEAR and MY BIRTHDAY!!!
MY BIRTHDAY!?
I used to feel really happy when it's Lunar New Year, NOT
BUT! This year, all I want and did was coope up at home scrolling through people's Instagram and wish I'd felt the same joy they were showing. I wasn't stuffing myself too. I've also been requesting for mum's porridge when it's dinner time.. This is ridiculous?! I don't even like porridge on normal days!!
As for my birthday.......... I don't know.
I don't know where I want to go.
I don't know what I want to do.
I don't know what I want to eat.
I don't know...
Karena asked when I want to celebrate my birthday with the clique waaaaaaay ahead of time, but I was focused on planning our Lunar New Year (our anniversary too!) dinner first and reduced that priority. Now that our dinner is done and dusted..., there is still no date from me.
I'm not sure if I'm going through something internally again? But I'm not unhappy. Just.... meh. I don't even have a description of how I feel right now.
And when my friends start asking me when, what and where... I just keep saying I don't have that celebratory mood for my birthday, but I definitely do not want to do anything (like plan or think).
I am a tiny wee bit disappointed though; dates were mentioned and some things were asked, but things didn't follow through.... Kindda made me wonder, was I supposed to initiate, poll and plan for my birthday?? If yes, this year is just not it.
Suddenly, all I wanna do is spend my time at work, in gym classes and at home.
Fuck. Is this quarter-life crisis!?
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