Graduation. Gown. :(

So... Graduation. I remember drafting a long ass entry about my decision a really long time ago. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), I can not find it anymore. It was seriously a very long entry. T^T

Anyway... Graduation.

I remember making up my mind about attending graduation even before completing my final exams.

I wasn't going to.

Sure, I'm happy to have obtained a degree.
Sure, I'm someone who loves such recognition.
Sure...

But at the end of the day, I realize I'm not that proud of myself for obtaining this degree. First off, a private University. This is probably the first and only regret I'll ever have in my life. (For now that is) Secondly, my degree is just a boring pass. In fact, I didn't do well. My GPA suck.

Sure, it's still a degree.
Sure, it's still a pass.
Sure...

I'm just not that proud.

And to add on to this, my mother wasn't that happy or proud when I enrolled into the school. She even asked me to not pay the fees on the day we were going to pay. Lol. Of course, there's also her (&my dad's) preference to not attend such ceremonies. They didn't attend my Diploma ceremony, nor my sister's. They just drove us there, waited for after the ceremony to take pictures and then drive us home.

This time, however, I was hoping to at least rent the gown and take pictures!!! I wasn't interested in the ceremony (since I would be in a different session from ANYONE I know -,-), but thought I should at least have something to safekeep this achievement. Except the transcript, of course.

I did all the neccessary to rent the gown. The criteria though, was that I have to attend the ceremony. I managed to cheat the system, and ordered mine with an arrange appointment to make payment and collect it. :X

Today, I went to collect my graduation gown.

I think I almost did it.

I think the only reason why I couldn't get it was my honesty. The lady who attended to me almost proceeded with the order when she realize I do not have guests coming for the graduation. When she asked, I innocently thought she could check and answered truthfully.

I later realize, she couldn't. =,= So in the end, I couldn't rent the gown because only graduates attending the ceremony could.

A bit not worth to rent thereafter!!!?

Renting it for the graduation ceremony would cost us $30. But, when you rent it thereafter (which you'll have to wait till October too, like wtf), it'll cost about $100. Like..... wtf again?! And if I wanna take pictures with my friends together with our gowns, how?!

I was quite depressed.

I felt even worse when my Dad went all "...Does it have that much of a significance...? ..."

Like se.....rious.....ly!?

Having paid (going to pay) 75% of my school fees plus diligently attending classes and mugging my ass off for reports, projects and exams, of course it's that much of a significance to me!?

When they asked why I wasn't going to attend the ceremony, I spoke the truth. And my Dad got it the wrong way, misunderstanding that I was blaming their dislike for such ceremonies.

Truth is, I wasn't. Them not liking such ceremonies is something I can understand. But I cannot deny it's one of the many other reasons why I chose to opt out of the ceremony.

Hai.

I guess it's not that fortunate that I lost the initial draft about attending graduation... Seeing how I've just typed another long ass entry about it. Lol.

Anyhowz. I'm feeling all better now.