what's in for me?

是因为自己不够知足吗?
为什么会总是觉得事件和情况不够好...?
为什么现在过的不会象以前一样，那么的快乐...?
这, 就是人生吗?

fortune teller was right, i constantly have something going on in my head. bothering me or not. i just keep allowing my mind to wander off to create chaos. thank goodness they don't cause me headaches. lol.

i've always been content with my life. with the things i have and the people that i am blessed with.
i still am.
really.

but lately, for the past few months, it feels like i'm not as happy as i used to. maybe it's because i'm transiting to the next phase in life. i keep getting bothered with what i can't see. stupid right, being bothered with something i can't see. but hey! not like i choose to be bothered by it? but by what i can't see, i mean my future. just can't seem to figure out. couldn't see myself going far in the previous job (duh!) and now here too. but it's only been one month. so there's still hope. lol. probably because i'm in too much a hurry to wanna achieve something. to have the sense of achievement and satisfaction.

i need to be patient. stop hurrying.

then again, i'm still content and happy with my life. i mean, i keep having awesomely nice people coming into my life. like my manager,,, had a work-talk with her a while ago. before i left for my desk, she asked how everything was (and for the record, she probably asked me the third time already...), and even said that i shouldn't bottle anything inside and to talk to her if i have problems. like... so nice..! (Y)! she has this really motherly feel. kekeke. ps: my colleagues are all nice too!

omg. my manager just gave me this keychain she got us from her recent Russia trip. it's a small gesture but i am seriously touched! like.. really. i was almost in tears when i was on my way back to my desk. no exaggeration. what have i done in the past to deserve all these awesome people in my life?
family, friends, co-workers and just people!
(this happened like... when i'm about to hit "post!". all my tiredness just vanished. lmao. in fact, after ranting this out, i actually feel better. so the negatives are now gone. pfft. always like this. come and go so fast. == make me a contradicting bitch. first i'm sad and now i'm not. ==;) Okay, back to original context.

these small little things make me grateful, content and happy with my life. geuinely happy... guess, it's just normal to have a devil inside trying to ruin things, right? it's also just human to cry every once in a while, right?

inspiration, motivation and some light to my future is what i need. and also, i need to thin the line i keep drawing with people of superior status. when it comes to casual that is.

i'm still lacking in a lot a lot of areas. but i know i'm becoming better as a person every day. :)

BABAM!