tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-241077092024-03-05T18:10:47.467+08:00jasmeaan♥♥♥Jasmeaanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04345622189458129422noreply@blogger.comBlogger1848125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24107709.post-78925579863592676872022-09-23T17:21:00.001+08:002022-11-14T14:46:57.145+08:00High Threshold For BullshitLol. Do I really have a high threshold for bullshit?A few things people have been telling me lately..."Stop trying to be a hero.""You need to have more self-love and be more kind to yourself. You are already doing very good at work.""Crying so often is not normal.""You have a high threshold for bullshit!"Lol.Why am I like that? My mental state has stabilised from last week, feeling almost Jasmeaanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04345622189458129422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24107709.post-5170140305081604352022-09-09T14:44:00.005+08:002022-09-23T15:02:04.348+08:00Out of Control.This new project is killing me. The workload. The stress.... I am spiralling out of control. I have no idea how to do better, apart from just doing things. I don't want to be reactive, but that is everything I am now. I know she is good for the team and would be good for my own learning. However, with her attempting to step into the inner circle, my mind automatically goes into Jasmeaanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04345622189458129422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24107709.post-43673839616211472172022-07-14T13:13:00.005+08:002022-09-23T14:33:03.272+08:00 Smiling, But Not Really.I am feeling so much right now and need an outlet, but I can't seem to fill this space with words...... My brain is cramping. My mind is going blank.Feel like crying.Feeling nausea.Feeling my left shoulder swell.Feeling the emotions all the way to my gut. Feeling it bubble from inside.I feel like crying right now.Unintentionally escalated my current workload when I was trying to give headsupJasmeaanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04345622189458129422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24107709.post-33869961677002976162022-01-04T00:21:00.008+08:002022-05-03T19:56:12.978+08:00New Year, New IntentionsI remember how anti-climatic it was counting down to 2021. I worked and blogged about how anti-climatic it was. lol. Then 2022 came, in an even more anti-climatic way like it doesn't even matter.........I was in bed, mindlessly scrolling Facebook like any other night 😅This time, I made the decision to stay in. Had the urge to spend the last/new bits of the year with friends, but the thought of Jasmeaanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04345622189458129422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24107709.post-10151081141924183712021-12-12T14:39:00.000+08:002022-05-03T19:49:32.318+08:00Second Leads?Caught Haha promoting his new song "GAP" at Jessi Showterview, and resonated with him - about being second leads and feeling inferior around talented people. We can't all be leads in every situation, but at the very least, we are the main lead of our own lives. We may not rule the world, but we rule our life! That's what more important than trying to be the top.Right?Yes!
Jasmeaanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04345622189458129422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24107709.post-81386466172205674992021-11-01T23:09:00.001+08:002022-05-03T19:44:47.685+08:00I Want What They Have, FriendshipWas watching a scene on "New Girl" where the characters all get together at their island table laughing, talking about the weddings they went to together and just looking like they are having a lot of fun (S4, ep1)...I realize.......... I more often want the friendships portrayed on TV shows, than being in a romantic relationship (I've watched so many chick flicks, I'm surprised I want the Jasmeaanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04345622189458129422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24107709.post-77038102835933936042021-10-31T19:55:00.001+08:002022-05-03T19:42:53.456+08:00Oh Damn, I'm 30Went for a facial today, and the beautician asked how old I am. 30, I said. Then she expressed her surprise saying she thought I was in my 20s. 20s..... Probably thought I was in my late 20s, right? I sure do not look anything younger than 25. Anyway, this was a random conversation I soon forgot during the treatment until I got home.. Until now.So, late 20s...... It isn't Jasmeaanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04345622189458129422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24107709.post-15027175634725708882021-10-11T23:55:00.001+08:002022-05-03T19:37:54.349+08:00Not A Morning PersonUhm. Maybe......... just stop falling back asleep once awake?I tell myself things at night. Then persuade myself otherwise in the morning. LOL.Mind > mind > mind.Not willed enough.To wake up early.To workout again.To make changes.Jasmeaanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04345622189458129422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24107709.post-86090897977902197912021-10-07T22:36:00.001+08:002022-05-03T19:31:35.899+08:00无理由的开心.就今天,无理由的开心起床容易工作有效率开会有精力就今天,无理由的开心随便就这样好好的过了一天天天能这样就好天天能无理由的好心情什么都不需想什么都不重要健康快乐就好🥰Jasmeaanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04345622189458129422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24107709.post-71105302517408446052021-10-04T15:28:00.007+08:002022-05-03T19:24:34.586+08:00LOL.Having suspected something happening, and actually seeing the said something really happen......... fwah. The emotion I felt is straightforward, yet complicated.But at least, the suspicion cushioned the pain(?) No, the days, weeks and months of silence probably did.I'm not even sure if it is pain that I feel. Maybe feeling betrayed is the better description. No, feeling hurt says it all. I Jasmeaanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04345622189458129422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24107709.post-84445330642257357902021-09-17T01:17:00.001+08:002021-10-08T10:58:13.227+08:00AshamedJust read my last entry and LOL at my angsty, dreading the training required and the readapting to a new person. . .If I could dial back 3 months, I would tell myself to calm down and brace myself for the WORKLOAD instead!! How could I have forgotten the insane level of admin work required for resource matters?!It was just 1.5 months. Exactly 34 working days. But boy, was it the most hectic,Jasmeaanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04345622189458129422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24107709.post-57037536080979170402021-06-15T15:25:00.006+08:002021-10-14T01:12:33.893+08:00Trying. Dying.Was the trying Monday the start of a shitty week? Definitely feels like it might be. A trying Monday, now a shitty Tuesday.Woke up not feeling my best today, and work has been particularly draining.The neverending emails.NEVER.ENDING!!!!The trigger of this train of thoughts?The colleague has tendered her resignation. While I was already expecting this to happen soon (if not in SeptemberJasmeaanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04345622189458129422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24107709.post-33313075791822995652021-06-14T22:12:00.001+08:002022-05-03T19:21:40.371+08:00Laughing it offToday’s a trying day, with multiple shitty episodes handling challenging people.I managed to laugh them all off though......The rude building management giving me nothing but trouble.The colleague trying to push her work over.The boss yelling at me.All these, on top of the never-ending emails I have and the mountainous work pile.I still managed to laugh them all off though! And I’m glad. :)Jasmeaanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04345622189458129422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24107709.post-53571319066113135072021-05-23T03:00:00.002+08:002022-05-03T19:24:55.992+08:00What Was I Thinking?!"Colleague"Pfft.Just labels, not important. Still, can't help but feel a tiny prick when I heard that. Saw that. What was I expecting?I already knew it was nothing....That's the thing. Sometimes, even if you are not holding any expectations, you can still be disappointed by something. Or maybe, we don't realise we have expectations?Oh wells.Jasmeaanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04345622189458129422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24107709.post-15749953204862792652021-05-15T01:58:00.002+08:002022-05-03T19:25:25.449+08:00A Passing RemarkTonight was random. A good kindda random. Those random times you least expect to happen.Made a passing remark a few days ago, and didn't realise I accidentally made plans for tonight. Glad it happened though. Was nice. Simple, nothing special, but nice. In fact, it was actually nothing at all. ."Forget it. It's all in the past."I agree. I don't know why I still wanna talk about them; the past. Jasmeaanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04345622189458129422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24107709.post-868305927524131842021-03-29T16:47:00.002+08:002022-05-03T19:25:38.699+08:00Why is this happening again?!Why am I being put through this same cycle again...? This is what…… the 4th time?! Is this a result of a decision on my part? It can’t be... I certainly did not choose who to have feelings for. I don’t know what am I doing; If I am doing anything right or wrong. Why do I keep falling into this trap? Why do I keep having feelings for someone who won’t reciprocate? Am I less deserving than anyone Jasmeaanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04345622189458129422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24107709.post-105451865494301512021-01-01T00:00:00.005+08:002021-01-01T00:00:31.911+08:00Counting down to 2021The most anti-climatic way I have ever, EVER, count down to a new year is rushing work in the last few seconds of 2020 into the first few seconds of 2021. What a year to remember.Woot!Jasmeaanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04345622189458129422noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24107709.post-41148932073837847592020-11-11T15:49:00.000+08:002021-11-16T15:40:33.693+08:00Leave?Surprisingly, it really did take me more or less 24 hours to get over the poor compensation I got. For a year’s worth of effort, adults get these compensation numbers; seemingly what the management/company deem corresponds to the effort people put in for their work. I suppose this is just like students getting their results from their tests; after a long period of preparation. Then again Jasmeaanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04345622189458129422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24107709.post-65216397526205827722020-09-15T01:11:00.003+08:002022-05-03T19:14:50.796+08:00Rat Race.I am confused. . . Finding it hard to find the words for my thoughts tonight. Had a conversation earlier about careers and I was told it is time for me to leave. Again. Someone telling me I should leave. Back in January, someone said to me "So what if you are now a sub-lead? Your pay is still shit." And many times, my close friends from work would encourage me to leave because "4 years is long Jasmeaanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04345622189458129422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24107709.post-66005068228097872792020-08-12T01:22:00.001+08:002022-05-03T19:11:42.233+08:00One Part of Me I don't likeRandom, but I came to realise something in the past week - One thing about myself I cannot explain and actually, hate.Sometimes, I get attracted to someone out of nowhere and my mind starts wandering, wondering on it's own. Someone maybe I just briefly know.Someone, maybe I have known for a while. Someone, just anyone, randomly out of nowhere. Feels as if there's a switch somewhereJasmeaanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04345622189458129422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24107709.post-66432097078454660072020-08-06T12:30:00.001+08:002022-05-03T19:09:13.274+08:00Not In The Mood.Not sure if I’d woken up on the wrong side of the bed today, but I’m feeling extremely unmotivated and dreadful. Chatting with my friends, and typing “LOL” with a dead straight face. Dead straightface.What is wrong? Is it PMS? That’s stupid if it is.Jasmeaanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04345622189458129422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24107709.post-87936339748187721042020-08-05T11:31:00.001+08:002022-05-03T19:08:00.082+08:00Grandparents.Every once in a while, I crave a better relationship with my grandparents. I have occasionally asked a few friends, and even my parents, what their relationship with their grandparents was/are like.A search for something common to feel less bad about what I have?My mum said I don't feel close to any of my grandparents because they have never taken care of us when we were young. Is that right? Jasmeaanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04345622189458129422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24107709.post-8202439340570795832020-06-22T17:23:00.001+08:002022-04-04T12:17:17.058+08:00A Fraud!I have always had this fear of people thinking I’m a fraud at work; and not as great as what many others may have said about me. I wonder why? Is it guilt that I feel because I am not performing my best?Jasmeaanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04345622189458129422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24107709.post-38806898297391731412020-06-18T02:25:00.002+08:002022-04-04T12:12:27.401+08:00NO RAGRETS!Random 2am thoughts tonight.I randomly asked myself if there was a time I want to reverse back and start again. But no, my answer was no. I have already lived that age, so why would I want to repeat it? But what if you don't remember the future and it was a restart? My answer was then I would still make the same decisions I made before. I used to think that not reapplying to a local university Jasmeaanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04345622189458129422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24107709.post-59445066645276587072020-06-13T18:52:00.001+08:002022-04-04T12:11:11.768+08:00Year 2020I feel both upset and amazed at what the world is going through right now. The pandemic. It's an unprecedented time, an unfortunate period, but for me, there have been as many good outcomes from the pandemic.For one, I am extremely grateful that my family and friends are not directly impacted and that everyone I love is virus-free. I cannot imagine how challenging it is for people who are losing Jasmeaanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04345622189458129422noreply@blogger.com0